Returning
by stardust794
Summary: 3 years after Elissa conscripts Logain, Alistair returns, asking to rejoin the wardens. Rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

It had been three years since the Blight was defeated. Three years since Loghain died killing the archdemon. And three long years while Elissa rebuilt the wardens by herself. Alistair had abandoned her and the party at the Landsmeet, simply because she did what was necessary by recruiting Loghain. Alistair had promised to never hurt her, he swore he would always love her, but in that moment he betrayed their love, screaming in front of the Landsmeet that conscripting Loghain cheapened the wardens and that he would not stand for it. Elissa had tried to explain, tried to calm Alistair down, but he would not permit it. As he turned to walk away, Elissa grabbed his arm, to tried to reason with him. Instead, Alistair whipped around, whispered "Unhand me you traitorous bitch", and pushed her away. Zevran caught Elissa before she fell to the ground, and the last the party saw of Alistair was his back as he left the Landsmeet chamber.

Elissa had been devastated. She loved Alistair with all of her heart and hoped that he would be at camp after the Landsmeet. She needed to explain why she allowed Loghain to join the wardens, even though it killed her inside. She hated Loghain as much as Alistair did, if not more. While it may have been Howe who slaughtered her family, Loghain permitted it. However, when she returned to camp, Alistair was gone, as was his gear.

Elissa's soul died a little more each day that passed without Alistair returning.

After the Blight was defeated, Elissa went to Vigil's Keep to recruit more Wardens. As months turned into years, she became close to her new Warden friends, and began to feel like she was starting to heal.

They had just finished lunch and the Wardens decided to chat in Elissa's office before continuing their daily chores and duties. Anders, Nate and Elissa sat around the fire in her office, telling stories and laughing while Sir Pounce-A-Lot bounded between them, playing with some invisible mote of dust.

"...And so Nate walks into the room and there's Oghren, naked as the day he was born, chasing after one of the Mabari hounds who has Oghren's pants." Anders barely manages to spit out the words before falling over in his chair in a fit of laughter.

Elissa throws her head back and laughs, tears coming to her eyes from laughing so hard. Elissa looks over to Nate, to see that he is chuckling too.

"Scarred me for life" Nate drawls, barely keeping the smile off his face in his attempt to pretend that he was indeed emotionally scarred by the experience.

All three continue laughing, their boisterous laughter carrying throughout the room and into the hallway when one of the Keep guards knocks on the half-opened door to Elissa's office.

"Come in" Elissa manages to get out between laughs. Still smiling and laughing, Elissa turns to see who needed to speak with her.

"Oh hello Matthew. What can ..." Just then someone steps out from behind Matthew and Elissa's eyes go wide and her lower lip trembles._ It can't be, not him_, Elissa thought.

Regaining her composure, Elissa's eyes snap back to Matthew, ignoring the man behind him. "What is going on?" Elissa asks, with a hint of anger in her voice.

"Umm, Commander." Matthew stumbles, unsure why the commander is suddenly angry. "This man arrived at the Keep asking to speak to you."

Elissa stood up and walked over to her desk in a daze. "Anders, Nate and Matthew, if you would excuse me, I need to speak to our guest."

Anders and Nate exchanged confused glances, then complied with Elissa's request. "I'll be right outside if you need me, Commander" said Matthew before following Anders and Nate out of the door and closing it behind them.

The guest was caught off guard by the fact that he was now alone with Elissa. He remained standing where he was, in front of her desk, and looked over to Elissa to see what she would do.

Elissa, however, could not bring herself to look up at him. Staring at her desk, she attempted to get her emotions under control. Anger, confusion, hurt, and fury broiled within her. Stamping down on all of them, Elissa put on a cold, detached air and looked up to the man standing in front of her.

"Alistair." Elissa stated his name, but was unable to continue speaking. She had not spoken his name for three years, and doing so almost broke her careful facade of detached indifference. Unable to continue speaking, Elissa motioned for the chair in front of her desk. Understanding her request, Alistair sat in the chair and looked into her face. _I forgot how stunningly beautiful she is. I've missed her so much_. Alistair thought.

Regaining her ability to speak, Elissa asked "Why are _you_ here?"

Although he heard the destain in her voice, Alistair continued looking into her eyes. "I needed to tell you...I was wrong. You did the right thing in conscripting Loghain. I...I went to the town where Duncan grew up and found an old journal of his."

Alistair reached behind him and pulled a dirty old journal from his pants. Elissa's expression had not changed from the detached, hateful glare she began the conversation with.

Alistair looked away and continued. "I now know that a warden is needed to kill the archdemon and the warden who does so dies. I also know that if Duncan had been alive, he would have conscripted Loghain too."

Elissa reached out and took the book from Alistair's hands. Confusion and anger flitted across Alistair's face. "What are you doing?"

Stoically, Elissa answered "This is property of the Grey Wardens. And should be kept in the Grey Warden library, not in the hands of an _outsider_." Elissa sneered at the last word, emphasizing that Alistair no longer had the honor of being called a Grey Warden.

"Is that all?" Elissa asked, signaling that the conversation about Duncan's journal was over.

"Ummm, no. I wanted to ask...well, if I could come back. Be a Grey Warden again. I have so much to make up for. I need to try to make it right." A look of profound longing and hope crossed Alistair's face as Alistair's eyes begged Elissa to allow him to rejoin the wardens. "You see, I've spent the last three years coming to grips with my failure and I feel that the only way for me to atone is by..." Alistair rambled on and on, trying to convince Elissa to allow him to stay.

Elissa watched Alistair impassively while he made his case. When he was finished, she stared off into the distance for a minute, gathering her thoughts. After what seemed like several hours, but was only a few minutes, Elissa closed her eyes, sighed, and looked back at Alistair.

"At the landsmeet I was forced to conscript a man I hated, in order to fulfill my sworn duty to end the blight. As much as it pained me, I followed the Grey Warden oath to do whatever is necessary to end the blight. You, on the other hand, abandoned your duties as a Grey Warden, abandoned the group who had fought by your side and left us to face the archdemon alone."

Elissa paused, to regain control over her emotions, then continued as coldly and vindictively as she could.

"During that final battle Loghain died killing the archdemon. Zevran died. Dog died. Riordan died. Wynne died. Had you been there perhaps they would still be alive today."

Alistair visibly recoiled. Her words stung him to his core, ripping out what remained of his heart.

"Instead of returning to your sworn duties and helping those remaining to rebuild the wardens, you spent your time doing Maker-knows-what. Now, three years later you decide to grace us with your presence, showing up with stolen Grey Warden property, and have the audacity to ask to be welcomed back into the Order which you so easily abandoned and betrayed. Does that about sum it up?"

"Yes" was all that Alistair could whisper in response.

Staring at Alistair with absolute loathing, Elissa continued. "With Loghain I was forced to allow him to be a Grey Warden, even though it cheapened our ranks to do so." Elissa looked away from Alistair, unable to contain the anger and hurt in her eyes. "As with Loghain, so with you. You may rejoin the wardens."

Alistair looked up from his feet, his eyes wide and surprise on his face. Elissa slowly turned her head to look back into his eyes. Alistair looked at her face, searching for forgiveness, but found none.

"However, let me make this clear. The Grey Wardens do not suffer insubordination. We do not permit betrayal. Once permitted back into our ranks, you will not be permitted to abandon us again. You so much as step one foot out of line and I will personally gut you, impale your pitiful head on a pike and display it in the courtyard." Elissa spoke with a hatred and callousness which Alistair was unaware she was capable of.

Elissa leaned forward and spoke the last words one at a time, emphasizing their importance. "Are. We. Clear?"

"Yes Commander."

Elissa stood, walked over and opened the door to her office. "Matthew, please take Alistair here down to the barracks. He is rejoining the Grey Wardens. Have Nate put him to work where ever Nate sees fit."

"Yes commander." Matthew replied. "Come on," Matthew motioned for Alistair to follow him. Alistair stood to leave the room.

"Thank you." Alistair whispered to Elissa, while reaching to hold her hand.

Elissa ripped her hand away and angrily walked back to her desk, ignoring Alistair's attempt to thank her.

Alistair sighed, and followed Matthew. He knew this was not going to be easy. Elissa seemed to hate him and he knew the other wardens were unlikely to welcome him with open arms. _I will do whatever it takes to make this right_, Alistair thought. _And I will get Elissa to fall in love with me again. Somehow..._

A/N: If someone wants to take this one shot and turn it into a longer story, please go ahead!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I wanted to specifically thank all of the wonderful people who reviewed my first chapter (Especially karu0792, your post made my day!) . Thanks to you I am going to continue the story. However, I should warn you all now: this is my first ever fan fic and I have no idea where I am going with it... I also do not have a beta, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors which I do not catch.

Chapter 2

Overwhelmed by emotions, Elissa continued staring at the now closed door to her office. The door _he_ had just exited. Alistair. Alistair was alive...and at the Keep.

Elissa reached for the Brandy stored in her bottom drawer, poured a shot and gulped it down. Disbelief warred with anger, confusion and...something else, a softer, more pleasant emotion which Elissa firmly denied feeling.

_I can't...I don't want...DAMN IT! Why is he here! _Elissa thought.

Elissa crossed her arms on her desk and rested her head on her arms, allowing the emotions to overwhelm her. Seeing him again brought back all of the memories which Elissa had spent three years forbidding herself from thinking about, pretending they never happened; their first meeting, the innocent flirting, that first night spent together, waking up in his arms...and the landsmeet.

They had been so close. And then he was gone. Gone and she didn't know whether he was alive or dead. All she knew was that, despite all of his promises, despite their love, he wouldn't even give her the chance to explain. All she knew was that _she_ had not been enough to make him stay.

Elissa stayed like that for a long time, attempting to regain control over her emotions as she finally allowed herself to remember that year and a half spent fighting the blight.

. . .

From the corner of her eye Elissa noticed that it was now dark outside. _When did that happen?_ Elissa sat up and stretched her arms above her head. _Great, now my neck is stiff,_ Elissa thought.

_So now what? I had to let him rejoin. 'Anything to defeat the darkspawn',_ Elissa thought in a sarcastic tone. _I'll just keep my distance from him. Treat him like any other recruit. Any other recruit who betrayed and abandoned you_, Elissa's anger retorted.

A sudden knock at the door startled Elissa. "Commander?"

Trying to get her adrenaline back under control Elissa answered, "Yes?"

Varel opened the door and poked his head inside. "I noticed you were not at dinner this evening. Is there anything I can bring you?"

Elissa smiled. "No thank you Varel. I believe I will simply retire early this evening."

"Very well Commander."

Elissa stood up, exited her office and headed straight for bed, exhausted from the day's events.

After closing Elissa's door Alistair hurried to catch up with Matthew. The pair walked through the Keep until they arrived at the barracks. It was one large room filled with a dozen beds for recruits and new wardens. Down the hall were several private rooms, reserved for wardens of higher rank. Several wardens were present, some relaxing and reading, others cleaning their armor or talking. Although Nate had his own room, he was chatting with one of the new recruits.

"Alistair" Matthew said, "you can take this bunk. Nathaniel, this is Alistair. He's a new recruit. The Commander said he's all yours." With that Matthew bowed to Nate and the other wardens and left to rejoin his post at the entrance to the Keep.

Nate looked over at Alistair, his eyes filled with suspicion. "Alistair, huh?"

Before Alistair could respond, a loud burp echoed through the room. "Sodding pike twirler! Where is he? Let me at 'em!" Oghren stumbled out of his room, ran face-first into a wall, then started moving toward Alistair.

Anders poked his head out of his room to see what all the commotion was. He saw Oghren advancing on the guest that the Commander was talking to earlier. _Hmm...Oghren looks like he's gonna kill the new guy. Finally something interesting happens around here!_ Anders thought.

By now Alistair had started backing up, hoping to avoid the impending death via dwarf. Oghren raised his hands as if to swing an axe at Alistair, only to realize there was nothing in his hands.

"Where's my axe? I'll cleave him in two!" Oghren yelled.

Anders walked into the barracks to find a better vantage point from which to watch the evening's entertainment, a smile on his face.

"Oghren. Hi. So, ummm...so you're a warden now?" Alistair stuttered, while continuing to back away from the angry dwarf.

"You abandoned her. You abandoned us to fight the archdemon alone!" Oghren yelled. Having given up on finding his axe, Oghren was now looking around the room for anything which would function as a weapon.

Anders smile faded and he stood up. "Wait. You're _that_ warden?" Anders's face turned to rage as he began advancing on Alistair too. "You abandoned the Commander and your duty as a Grey Warden! How dare you show your face here!"

While spinning around looking for any weapon he could find, Oghren turned a little too quickly, and promptly fell face-first onto the floor. Anders simply stepped over the now unconscious dwarf and continued advancing on Alistair, lightning crackling between his fingers.

"Enough!" Nate said. "Anders, take Oghren back to his room and then return to yours."

Anders gave Alistair one last look of hatred before complying with Nate's command. As Anders dragged an unconscious and snoring Oghren into his room, Nate motioned for Alistair to follow him out of the room.

Alistair followed Nate through the hallway, the dining area and into the kitchen.

"Hey, Nathaniel, is it? Thanks for..."

"Shut your mouth traitor." Nate interrupted Alistair. "The commander may have allowed you to rejoin the wardens, but she put you under my command. Personally, I would have executed you on the spot. But since you're here, you can make yourself useful. These dishes need to be washed. After you're done you may retire to your bunk."

Alistair glanced around the room and groaned. There were stacks and stacks of dishes covering every surface, many of which had baked on food. _This is going to take all night!_ Alistair thought.

Nate turned to leave with a satisfied look on his face.

Hours later Alistair stretched, trying to regain feeling in his freezing, pruned fingers. Although Alistair had spent months training to prepare to rejoin the wardens, his arms still ached from the hours of tough scrubbing.

After the landsmeet Alistair had immediately boarded a ship for Antiva. Alistair spent the next two years drinking to forget the pain. He slept most nights on the streets, huddled in garbage for warmth, his coin spent on alcohol. While he often had to fight off bandits and other miscreants it wasn't until he was robbed and beaten to within an inch of his life that Alistair decided he had to sober up and do something with his life. Alistair stopped drinking and saved up his money until he had enough to catch a ship to Highever.

When he arrived Alistair began searching for the home where Duncan grew up. All Alistair found was the remains of a burned building, likely destroyed during the blight. However, while searching through the rubble Alistair found Duncan's old journal.

After reading it, Alistair finally realized that he had been wrong. Elissa had done the right thing. And he had condemned her for it. The memory of how he abandoned Elissa tore through his body, ripping open old wounds which he had tried to pretend were gone. He knew what he had to do.

It was that day that he began his training, preparing to return to the Grey Wardens, to Elissa.

Alistair looked around the room to ensure that he had washed every single dish. Seeing that he had, Alistair walked back to the barracks. _Perhaps I can catch an hour or two of sleep_, Alistair thought glumly. However, when Alistair walked to his bed, he found the sheets gone and the mattress soaked with...urine.

Alistair closed his eyes, breathed slowly and tried to control his emotions. Since there was no where to sleep in the barracks, Alistair made his way to the stables. _I'll just curl up in the hay, just like when I was a child._ Alistair bunched up some hay in the corner of the stable, curled into the fetal position and shivered while allowing a few tears to escape.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Splash! Cold water dripped down Alistair's face and soaked his clothes. Alistair shot up, sputtering apologies for oversleeping, the icy water tingling as it slid down his spine and chest. Regaining his bearings, Alistair plucked the damp hay off of his skin while glaring at Nate who was standing above him holding a now empty bucket.

"Get up. Grab whatever remains from breakfast, then meet the other Wardens in the training yard." Nate said, before walking away. Alistair looked down to see that his clothes were soaked through. _Great, guess I'll need to change too,_ Alistair thought. Grumbling silently to himself, Alistair hauled himself onto his feet and tried to shake out his aching muscles.

Morning came much too quickly for Elissa, who had spent much of the night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep despite being exhausted. Just as dawn had began to peak over the horizon Elissa decided that she would simply continue her daily life as she did before Alistair had returned. _Besides, it's been three years; I've moved on. His mere presence no longer unhinges me like some hormone-addled teenager. I'll be the adult about this and just continue on like nothing has happened._ Elissa thought.

Rolling out of bed, Elissa stretched and wandered over to her window which overlooked the courtyard. The sun was shining bright and people were bustling around in the courtyard. Guards were stationed at the front gates, speaking to a traveling merchant and several recruits were standing around the statue chatting amicably. Closer to the Keep entrance, Wade was hammering away at some armor. _I wonder what innovative new armor Wade is working on now? It seems that every time I _…... Elissa's thoughts were interrupted when she noticed Alistair walking from the stables toward the barracks. His shirt was soaking wet and clinging to his well-defined muscles. His hair was glowing in the sunlight and rays of sunshine skipped down his chest, emphasizing his rippling muscles. Elissa's breathing and heart rate went into overdrive and she unconsciously bit her lower lip. _Wow,_ Elissa thought, before catching herself gawking and looking away.

However, Elissa's eyes were immediately drawn back to the vision before her. He was so handsome she couldn't breathe. Droplets of water clung to his strong jaw and bare arms, shining like diamonds in the light. Alistair still walked with the same strong grace of a warrior. Transfixed, Elissa watched Alistair walk across the courtyard.

After Alistair disappeared into the barracks, Elissa walked away from her window and began packing for a trip to Redcliffe. _We need to recruit more wardens. This has nothing to do with him. It's not like I'm running away from him. I have a job to do! _Elissa tried to convince herself.

With her belongings packed and wearing her favorite leather armor, Elissa left her room to find Varel and Nate. As always, Varel was in the Keep's entry hall. _Does he sleep here too?_ Elissa thought, suddenly realizing that Varel is almost always standing in the exact same spot in the hall.

"Commander, good morning." Varel said, while crossing his arms and bowing slightly. "I trust you slept well. Here are yesterday's reports," Varel said while handing Elissa a stack of documents, as he did every morning. "As you can see, the new armor is coming along nicely, our food supply levels are moderate and..."

Elissa smiled, not really paying attention while Varel continued filling her in on the minutia of the Arling. When Varel finally stopped to take a breath, Elissa interjected "Indeed. Thank you Varel. However I need to head out on a last minute recruiting mission to Redcliffe. I should only be gone for one or two weeks."

Pulling out his small notepad, Varel inquired, "And for any decisions which I would normally take to you...?"

"Bring them to Nate, as he is my second in command and will be in charge of the wardens in my absence." Elissa asserted.

"Nathaniel." Varel said while writing down Nate's name. "Very good commander. I will have someone prepare your horse for you immediately. Safe journey." Varel bowed before heading to the stables.

_Now where will I find Nate at this time of the day?_ Elissa pondered. Elissa decided to search the dining area before looking in the training yard, as those were the two most likely places for Nate to be.

Elissa found the dining hall empty except for one blond warden. _Not Nate_, Elissa thought, while hurrying away before the warden could notice her presence.

In the training yard Elissa found Nate practicing his archery.

"Hey! Nate!" Elissa yelled across the yard before jumping over the fence and heading toward Nate.

"You know you shouldn't startle someone who is shooting. You never know when an arrow might accidentally fly in _your_ direction." Nate said when Elissa was close enough.

"Yeah, yeah. So, I'm headed to Redcliffe to recruit a warden or two. So you're in charge. Any questions?" Elissa said quickly, hoping not to arouse Nate's suspicions as to why she was taking her recruiting trip now.

Nate drummed his fingers on his bow, giving Elissa a knowing look. "A recruiting trip, huh?"

"Shut up." Elissa said, while smiling. "Just don't burn the Keep down while I'm gone, okay?"

"You take all the fun out of being second in command." Nate quipped. "Safe journey commander."

Elissa returned the bow that Nate gave her before heading to the stables. The stable boy had her horse ready to go so Elissa climbed on and headed out the Keep gates.

….

Several days later Elissa arrived at Redcliffe. After being greeted by Arl Eamon and accepting his invitation to remain in his home during her stay, Elissa headed for the tavern to speak with Redcliffe's citizens. Elissa was pleasantly surprised that a tournament was to be held in three days time. _The perfect opportunity to find some recruits_, Elissa thought.

The day of the tournament Elissa watched from her seat of honor by Arl Eamon and Arlessa Isolde. Although there were a few promising warriors, one in particular caught her eye. Although he fought with a sword and shield and in heavy armor, he moved with the grace of a rogue, easily evading his opponents' swings before smashing them with his shield. His opponents staggered under his powerful blows and were no match for his grace, speed and power. Having defeated all of the other challengers, this man was named champion of the tournament.

As the Hero of Ferelden, Elissa had the honor of presenting him with the champion's shield. As she handed him the shield he removed his helmet, accepted the shield and smiled and waved at the crowd. The men in the crowd burst into cheers, while the women were swooning over the handsome champion. His stunningly blue eyes contrasted with his silky dark brown hair which was layered and wind-tossed. His strong jaw line had hints of stubble and his lips were curved up in a confident, sexy smile.

"May I ask your name?" Elissa asked, surprised to find herself a little flustered.

"Dominic, my lady. It is an honor to make your acquaintance," Dominic said as he gently grasped Elissa's hand and brought it to his soft lips. "You are even more beautiful in person than your reputation bespoke."

Elissa blushed and smiled before turning toward the now-approaching Arl Eamon. "Congratulations Dominic" Arl Eamon said, while shaking Dominic's hand. "I knew you could do it, you've always been one of my best soldiers. I trust you will be joining us for dinner this evening, to celebrate your victory?"

"It would be my pleasure to dine with such ravishing company" Dominic purred, looking at Elissa the entire time.

Elissa blushed even more and quickly changed the subject. "Dominic, your fighting was very impressive today. I would like to offer you a position in the Grey Wardens, if you would like to join us."

"My lady, I would follow you anywhere. It is an honor to join the noble Grey Wardens and fight at your side."

"Great! I'll see you tonight."

"At dinner!" Elissa hastily clarified. "And tomorrow we will head back to the Keep for your joining."

"As my lady wishes. I look forward to seeing you this evening, and greatly anticipate my _joining_ with you . . . and your wardens. Until tonight. . ." Dominic said while once again grasping her hand and bringing it to his lips, his beautiful blue eyes trained on Elissa the entire time.

Flustered, but doing her best not to show it, Elissa walked with Arl Eamon back to his estate. _ Well_, Elissa thought, _this trip sure has been successful._

Meanwhile, Alistair was having a. . . difficult time fitting in, to say the least. Although he was able to hold his own during training, that was the only time when the other wardens would even acknowledge his presence. Well, if you didn't count the recent...incidents. Thousands of lice had appeared in his clothing trunk (although all the other wardens' trunks were suspiciously devoid of the nasty bugs), his morning porridge contained what looked and smelled to be mabari droppings, his sword, shield and armor all mysteriously ended up at the top of a large oak tree, near an angry bee's nest, and someone replaced his soap with salt, burning his cuts and scrapes from training.

Alistair was trying his hardest to let the hazing roll off of his back. _If I don't react, eventually they will stop. Right? Please Maker!_ Still, Alistair was lonely with no one to talk to, and looked forward to Elissa returning. She had been gone almost a week, and Alistair found himself missing her beautiful face. _I even miss arguing with her!_ Alistair thought, realizing how desperate he was for some human interaction. Despite his best efforts, none of the wardens would warm up to him, not even Oghren, who always enjoyed joking around with Alistair before. Now-a-days Oghren spent his time giving Nate suggestions for menial chores for Alistair.

Today Alistair had been assigned the noble task of scrubbing bird poop off of the statue of Andraste in the courtyard. _Fitting work for a warrior_, Alistair thought bitterly. Standing on a ladder, Alistair began scrubbing the statue, methodically working his brush into the cracks and crevices of the statue's head and neck.

A while later, just as a group of younger wardens walked by, one yelled "You missed a spot, traitor!" Alistair closed his eyes and took a deep breath (instantly regretting it because his nose was assaulted with the smell of bird poop.) Reciting the Chant of Light to himself in an effort to remain calm and avoid screaming at the indignity of it all, Alistair mustered up the willpower to continue his task.

In the distance, Alistair could hear horses galloping toward the Keep. Looking up from his work, Alistair smiled for the first time in what felt like months. _She's back! _

Elissa and a tall, dark haired man rode into the courtyard and dismounted near the stables, handing the reigns to the stable boy. Alistair saw Elissa pointing out different buildings to the man, likely describing the purpose of each building. Alistair couldn't help himself, he started walking toward Elissa. He had to see her!

Just then, the man placed his hand on Elissa's lower back, leaned into her ear and whispered something to her. Elissa blushed and gave the man a shy smile. Alistair stopped as if he had run face-first into a wall. He knew that smile, that look. She used to give him that look when he said something romantic to her. That look was one step away from her flirty _'let's mess around_' look.

Alistair's blood boiled and his eyes narrowed on the man who walked into the Keep holding Elissa's hand.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for the delay on this update...I hit writer's block. As I should have said before, Bioware owns all, except Dominic, who is my own creation. Shout out to karu0792, my fantastic bata for all your help! And thanks to all my readers and reviewers! Your reviews are what keep me writing!

Chapter 4

"Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can not be foresworn and should you perish know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you." Elissa's voice boomed throughout the grand hall, evidencing a confidence which she did not feel. Joinings were Elissa's least favorite part of being a Grey Warden. It was devastating to conscript a recruit only to lose him or her to the joining, knowing that if she had never met the recruit he or she would still be alive.

Elissa lifted the ceremonial cup of darkspawn blood and turned toward Dominic.

"Dominic step forward."

Dominic walked to Elissa and took the cup from her hands, staring in her eyes the entire time, as if trying to memorize her face. At that moment, Elissa could see that Dominic's attractive confidence was faltering, overwhelmed by fear that he may not survive the joining. Dominic lifted the cup to his lips and drank. _Please Maker!_ Elissa thought. _Let him survive._

Dominic's eyes went white and he collapsed onto the floor with a thud. Anders bent down and checked Dominic for signs of life.

"He made it" Anders said, looking up to Elissa. Elissa smiled and felt relief wash over her.

While some of the newer wardens started heading out of the great hall, Nate and Oghren approached Elissa and Dominic. Dominic then groaned, staring to wake up.

Immediately Elissa was kneeling at his side, her hand on his chest, looking down into his eyes. Dominic opened his eyes to see Elissa's face hovering above him.

"Hello beautiful." Dominic said, as he began to get onto his feet. Elissa blushed and took a step back to give Dominic room to get up.

"Welcome brother. I'm glad you survived." Nate said, while shaking Dominic's hand.

Alistair approached the group of wardens, hoping to have a chance to speak to Elissa. By this time the rest of the wardens had left the great hall, leaving Elissa, Oghren, Nate, Anders, Dominic, and now Alistair, standing in a circle.

"It has been a long day. What do you say we all celebrate with a drink in my office?" Elissa asked, looking at everyone except Alistair.

Alistair took a step toward Elissa. "Elissa," Elissa tensed up. "Can I..."

"Pike twirler, why don't you go clean the horse shit out of the stables?" Oghren said.

Alistair looked at Elissa, hoping that she would save him from his chore. However, Alistair saw Elissa smirk before taking Dominic's hand in her's and leading the rest of the wardens toward her office. Defeated, Alistair walked toward the stables with his head down.

In her office Elissa pulled out the Brandy and poured some for each of the wardens before collapsing on the loveseat by the fire. Dominic eyed the two remaining chairs before sliding onto the loveseat next to Elissa. Nate and Anders took the two chairs, leaving Oghren to sit on the floor by the fireplace.

"So Dominic," Nate began, "Elissa recruited you in Redcliffe?"

"Yes. My father and I moved to Redcliffe so that I could accept knighthood under Arl Eamon."

Oghren burped. "Were you there when we fought the undead during the blight? I don't remember you."

"That could be because you were passed out drunk most of the time" Elissa muttered under her breath.

"No, I was not there. Bann Teagan sent myself and several other knights to search for the Ashes of Andraste. It wasn't until after I returned that I was informed of the tragedy that had befallen Redcliffe. Thankfully this warrior goddess was able to save the town." Dominic said, motioning to Elissa.

"I didn't do it on my own." Elissa said. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" Elissa asked, changing the topic.

"Oghren was drunk, Nate was brood-y, I was incredibly handsome...Same old same old." Anders said, smiling.

"Brood-y? That's not even a word Anders!" Nate said while rolling his eyes.

"And yet it fits you perfectly." Anders quipped.

"Alright alright," Elissa chuckled. "Behave children."

"Elissa! I escaped the tower seven times just to be with you, and this is how you repay me? By calling me a child? To think I let you stay in my bed all those times!"

Dominics eyes visibly widened. _Elissa is dating Anders? But I could have sworn she was flirting with me in Redcliffe and on the trip back!_ "I- uh, sorry." Dominic muttered aloud. "I was under the impression that..."

Elissa laughed aloud. "He's joking Dominic. Anders is the best healer in Ferelden, if I was ever in his bed it was because I was knocked unconscious or had a darkspawn sword though my shoulder! Anders can't help but flirt with every female that comes across his path. The day Anders _doesn't_ try to bed me and any woman within 5 miles is the day Oghren stops drinking!"

"Not gonna happen." Oghren and Anders simultaneously asserted.

The group continued chatting amicably over the next hour. Thanks to Dominic's gregarious nature he fit right in and the wardens had a great time laughing and bonding.

Anders was regaling the group with the story of one of his escapes from the tower when a loud snore rang through the room. "I hate to interrupt, but I believe that our dwarven friend is no longer with us." Dominic noted, pointing toward Oghren.

"Uggg. I'll take care of it. Goodnight Commander. Dominic, it was a pleasure getting to know you." Nate said as he stood up and started dragging Oghren out of the room.

Anders watched Nate's attempt to heave Oghren across the floor, before finally getting up to help. "Don't stay up too late you two!" Anders said to Dominic and Elissa, wiggling his eyebrow.

Elissa smiled, grabbed a small couch pillow and tossed it at Anders. "Shut up!"

Anders dropped Oghren's feet, turned to Elissa and held his hands over his heart. "You wound me so!"

"Not yet I haven't!" Elissa threatened, while still smiling.

"Anders!" Nate said, again trying and failing to move Oghren without Ander's help. Anders picked up Oghrens feet and the two wardens dragged him toward the barracks.

"They are an eclectic bunch" Dominic observed, turning to face Elissa.

"It's a wonder we all get along so well." Elissa replied.

Dominic lowered his voice to a sexy purr. "Speaking of getting along well, I wanted to let you know that I treasured the time we were able to spend getting to know each other on the journey here from Redcliffe. To be able to sleep under the stars in the tent next to such a beautiful and strong woman is an incredible privilege."

"Thank you Dominic. I also enjoyed our time together."

"How is it that such an amazing woman is not dating someone?" Dominic asked while taking Elissa's hand into his.

"Well..." Elissa paused, trying to decide how much to tell Dominic. "It's complicated. I guess I just haven't really been interested in getting involved with anyone."

Dominic slowly moved his face closer to Elissa's. Just before his lips touched her's, he said, "Then I shall have to endeavor to change your mind."

Elissa reached up and cupped Dominic's cheek with her hand, closing the distance between them and planting a soft kiss on his lips.

Pulling back slightly, Elissa breathed "You won't have to try too hard."

Smiling, Dominic brought his lips back to Elissa's. He firmly pressed his lips against her's, before gently sucking on Elissa's bottom lip. Dominic ran his hand through Elissa's soft hair while continuing to plant slow, gentle kisses on her lips. Lost in the sensation, Elissa softly moaned before moving her hand down to begin unbuttoning Dominic's armor.

Reluctantly, Dominic pulled back from Elissa's lips and brought her hand away from his armor buckles.

"Although I desperately wish to continue, we should stop before we go too far. It is no longer the blight m'lady. Thanks to your heroic actions we have the chance to enjoy a slow, sensual dance of courtship. Let's take advantage of it." Dominic stood up from the loveseat and brought Elissa's hand to his lips. "Sleep well, beautiful temptress." Elissa watched Dominic leave, her heart still pounding in her chest.

. . . .

While dressing the next morning, Elissa relived the previous evening's events in her mind. _I haven't felt that flutter of attraction since Alis... for a long time. It's magical. _Smiling, Elissa opened her door and walked into the hallway.

"Morning, beautiful. I trust you slept well?" Dominic stood up from a nearby bench and walked over to Elissa.

"Hello Dominic. Fancy meeting you here." The butterflies in Elissa's stomach suddenly became active, and Elissa smiled at Dominic, trying to hide her reaction to his presence.

"I was hoping to have the honor of escorting you to breakfast."

Elissa laughed. "Well thank you good sir. Although I do believe I could find my way on my own, I would much rather be escorted by such a handsome warden."

"I have no doubt of your navigation abilities, nor your ability to protect yourself from danger. However, one never knows what horrible beasts may be lurking on the way to the dining hall. I was hoping to garner your protection for such a perilous journey. Alas, you have discovered my clever plan!"

Elissa laughed while pulling Dominic toward her and taking his elbow. "Very well. I shall protect you with my life!" Elissa said, her eyes sparkling with humor. The pair began walking toward the dining hall.

"Elissa look! Protect me from the horrendous monster!" Dominic yelled, pointing to Elissa's left and pretending to cower behind her. Elissa turned to see what he was pointing at, and saw Nate approaching from a connecting hallway. Elissa almost fell over laughing, while Nate gave the two of them an exasperated look before continuing on his path.

"Maker's blessing! You were so fierce that one look was enough to make the monster scamper off in search of its mother!" Dominic said while holding Elissa up to keep her from falling over laughing.

They took a few more steps toward the dining hall, before Dominic pointed down the hall at Ser Pounce-A-Lot. "Another beast approaches! Flee my lady!"

Pretending to be scared, Elissa ran through the entryway into the dining hall, followed closely by a laughing Dominic. After entering the dining hall, Elissa fell into Dominic's arms laughing, while trying to catch her breath at the same time.

Dominic pulled Elissa closer and stated "My lady, we have arrived unscathed!" Dominic then lowered his voice and moved his lips up to Elissa's ear. "How will I ever repay you for your aid?"

Elissa felt the walls around her heart melting. All she wanted to do was fall into Dominic's arms and never look back. However, a sudden "Ah hem" from Anders brought the world around them back into focus.

"Good morning Commander." Anders said, smiling at the two of them.

Elissa straightened up and took a step away from Dominic, falling back into Commander-mode. "Good morning Anders. Let's eat, shall we?"

Elissa, Dominic and Anders joined four other wardens at a table and began digging into their breakfast.

Sitting alone at his table, Alistair had witnessed Elissa's entrance. When she ran into the dining hall Alistair's heart soared to see her face lit up with laughter. He came crashing down again when Dominic (or "That man" as Alistair had come to think of him) followed her in. Alistair tried to keep his eyes on his own food, but couldn't help watching Elissa. She was as radiant as ever and Alistair felt his heart ache for her, knowing that he used to make her smile like that, before he threw it all away.

Elissa enjoyed the wonderful food while talking and laughing with the wardens, occasionally playfully bumping her shoulder into Dominic. However, the fact that Alistair was in the room had not escaped her notice. Although she tried to ignore him, she could feel his presence in the room, like a palpable source of unease. _Why is he eating alone?_ Elissa wondered. _Is he not fitting in? Maybe I should...NO! Let him suffer. He deserves nothing less! _

Elissa spent the rest of the meal resolutely ignoring Alistair, concentrating on the conversation at the table. When she finished her meal, Elissa headed to her office while the rest of the wardens went to the armory to prepare for their morning training. Knowing that Nate would not be happy if Alistair was late, Alistair followed the wardens, keeping his distance from them to avoid their taunting.

After the wardens stretched, Nate gathered them together and started pairing them off to duel.

"Dominic. Hmmm...why don't you fight...Alistair." Nate said, smirking. The previous night Dominic asked Nate about Elissa's romantic past and was eventually able to get the whole story out of Nate. Once Dominic had heard what Alistair had done, he implored Nate to pair him up with Alistair for sparring. Nate was happy to oblige.

Alistair walked up and shook Dominic's hand, trying not to let his distain for the man show on his face. Dominic gripped Alistair's hand as hard as he could, while glaring at him.

Dominic and Alistair walked over to an empty sparring ring, unsheathed their weapons and began circling each other, looking for an opening. Alistair struck first, bringing his sword down on Dominic's shield. Dominic was ready for the blow and used the momentum of Alistair's swing to throw him off balance and circle around behind Alistair to shield bash him. Alistair stumbled before regaining his balance and turning around. Dominic held up his shield and circled Alistair, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

"I hope you enjoyed yourself after the joining last night. I certainly did. Elissa is such a captivating woman, don't you agree?" Dominic baited Alistair.

"Stay away from her!" Alistair yelled before charging Dominic. Their blades clashed as they both struggled to overpower the other.

"Have her lips always tasted of cinnamon?" Dominic asked, smirking at Alistair.

Alistair felt rage overwhelm him and pushed Dominic back before shield bashing him. Although Alistair had no training as a berserker, he attacked Dominic in a wild rage, forgetting all form and training. Dominic's agility allowed him to dodge Alistair's fierce attacks, while occasionally getting in a strike of his own. The two continued their deadly dance for a long time, long after the other wardens' duels were concluded. However, the two were evenly matched and eventually Nate had to call it a draw.

Still seething with rage and frustration, Alistair stormed off to be alone while Dominic joined the other wardens to continue training.

…...

Over the next week Elissa settled back into her normal routine around the Keep, while occasionally stealing a few passionate kisses from Dominic in private. Dominic was very popular with the wardens and found that he fit right in at the keep. Although Elissa tried to avoid Alistair as much as possible, he always seemed to show up wherever she went. She'd head to the training ground and minutes later he'd be in the sparring ring next to her's. Elissa would take a walk in the courtyard only to find Alistair hovering around the nearby stables. Elissa would postpone dinner to avoid Alistair, only to find him in the larder when she went to make herself a late night sandwich.

Elissa consistently ignored the fact that her heart raced into overdrive whenever Alistair was nearby. Whenever she saw Alistair she immediately brought her thoughts to Dominic. _I think I'm falling in love with Dominic,_ Elissa often thought. _I'm totally over Alistair and am ready to move on with my life. _Over time Elissa was almost able to convince herself it was true.

One night Elissa was relaxing with a book in the library, enjoying a break from work. As usual, Alistair seemed to magically appear on the other side of the room when Elissa was not looking. Elissa could occasionally feel Alistair's eyes on her, but she ignored him and tried to concentrate on her book.

After a little while Alistair saw Dominic enter the room, search for Elissa and walk up behind her chair. Dominic then leaned over and whispered something in Elissa's ear, causing her to smile flirtatiously. Dominic kissed Elissa's neck before looking over at Alistair and giving him a proud, confident grin. Dominic smugly walked out of the library and toward the barracks.

At this point Alistair could not keep his eyes off of Elissa. He desperately wanted to talk to her, to somehow let her know that he still loved her, that Dominic was not the right man for her. Alistair forgot about being discrete and instead found himself searching her face, trying to find the right words.

Elissa tried to ignore Alistair's stares, but could feel herself getting more and more agitated. Finally unable to ignore him anymore, Elissa looked up from her book. "What!"

"You deserve so much better than him." Alistair said while standing up and walking closer to Elissa.

"And what, _you_ think you know what's best for me? Seriously!" Elissa shot up out of her chair and approached Alistair, filled with rage and indignation.

"I...well...I am..." Alistair stuttered, trying to find the right words. "...I don't trust him!"

"Butt out Alistair! Who I fall in love with is NONE of your concern anymore!" Elissa yelled, throwing her book to the floor in anger.

Alistair gave Elissa the saddest, most defeated look she had ever seen and for a moment Elissa almost wanted to take back what she said. Instead Elissa clung to her anger and screamed "Leave me alone!" before storming out of the library.

_Damn it!_ Alistair thought, running his hand through his hair in frustration.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Apologies for the delay on this chapter, I have been super busy with finals. Additionally, all my wonderful readers should know that I am going to be studying to take the Bar exam in July (to become an attorney) and thus likely will not be posting much, if at all, until after July. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, but I have to focus on real life. Thanks again to my wonderful beta and thank you all for the wonderful reviews!

Chapter 5

After her confrontation with Alistair in the library, Elissa had been spending even more time with Dominic, which almost allowed her to completely forget about Alistair's presence at the Keep. Even when she wasn't with Dominic, he had little ways of brightening up her day. One morning Elissa found a parchment on her desk which had not been there the previous evening. Curious, Elissa unsealed the letter and read it, a smile forming on her face.

_Dearest Elissa,_

_I know that you have been feeling under the weather lately, so I got you that expensive tea you like. Find me later this evening and I will prepare it for you and give you a massage that will drain away all that tension you store in your beautiful shoulders. Until tonight, know that every waking moment I am thinking of you and picturing your gorgeous face._

_Eternally yours,_

_Dominic_

_################  
_

Meanwhile, Alistair's mind had been constantly battling over what to do about Dominic and Elissa. While he knew it was not his place to say anything about it, he could not shake the feeling that Dominic had ulterior motives. _At least I can decide on one thing_, Alistair thought glumly, _confronting Elissa the way that I did was the LEAST productive method of airing my feelings_.

The rising sun was just peaking through the windows, lighting the hallway through which Alistair walked. Alistair's stomach growled and he sped up on his way to the dinning hall for an early breakfast. After turning the corner, his eyes were naturally drawn to Elissa's bedroom door. Alistair involuntarily smiled at the thought of Elissa peacefully sleeping and his heart ached to hold her in his arms again. Lost in his memories, Alistair was startled to see the door open.

However, when Dominic stepped out of the room and softly closed the door behind him, Alistair's heart shattered. The love and intimacy that Alistair and Elissa had shared had been a beautiful, life changing experience. The idea that _that man_ experienced the same with Elissa was devastating. Regaining control of his emotions, Alistair made the most difficult decision of his life: he would honor Elissa's choice. _I love her so very much. All I want is for her to be happy. If this is what it takes to make her happy, then so be it. Although it kills me, I will not interfere anymore. _Alistair took a deep breath, wiped away the tears forming in his eyes and straightened his shoulders.

Wanting to avoid Dominic, Alistair waited until Dominic was out of sight before continuing on his path. Although he had lost his appetite, Alistair continued toward the dining hall, knowing that he would need his strength for training that day. However, when Alistair entered the kitchen, he saw Dominic standing over a tray of food. Alistair suddenly felt nauseous. _He's bringing Elissa breakfast in __bed._ Having completely lost his appetite and suddenly not caring about his performance in training, Alistair turned to walk away. However, at that moment Dominic pulled a strange vial out of his shirt pocket and uncorked it. Curious, Alistair paused to watch. Dominic leaned over the plate of pancakes, Elissa's favorite, and sprinkled the brown powdery substance over the pancakes.

"You son of a bitch!" Alistair yelled while grabbing a nearby knife and advancing on Dominic. Alistair grabbed Dominic by the collar and held the knife to Dominic's throat. "I knew you couldn't be trusted. You're poisoning Elissa! I should kill you where you stand!"

"It's cinnamon, you idiot! Elissa likes cinnamon on her pancakes." Dominic glared at the jealous fool holding a knife to his neck before he pushed the knife away.

Suddenly thinking that he may have misjudged the situation, Alistair allowed Dominic to push the knife away from his neck. However, Alistair did not put the knife down. Something still was not right...

"Then why is it in a special vial and not on the spice rack!" Alistair blurted out, still unwilling to believe Dominic's explanation.

Exasperated, Dominic sighed. "Because it's expensive and rare. I bought it specifically for Elissa and don't want to share it with every ravenous warden in the keep." Dominic explained slowly, as if he was speaking to a child.

Exasperated, Dominic pushed Alistair out of the way and left the kitchen before he really lost his temper. As Dominic approached Elissa's door, he slowed down to try to allow his anger to abate. Taking a deep breath Dominic pushed the door open and entered with the tray of food.

A cool breeze blew through the open window, causing the delicate curtains to dance. Warm sunlight mingled with the breeze, giving the room a heavenly glow, accentuated by the dying fire in the fireplace. Elissa was seated on the large, fluffy bed with her back against the headboard, waiting for Dominic's return.

"Hey you. What took you so long? Did you have to fight off horrific monsters on the way to the kitchen?" Elissa teased.

"In a manner of speaking," Dominic sighed, unable to stop the smile from creeping across his face at the sight of Elissa amongst the pillows and blankets, her hair ruffled from sleep. Dominic placed the tray on the table next to the bed and sat down next to Elissa, resting his back against the headboard. Dominic then handed Elissa her plate of pancakes before grabbing his plate and eating his bacon and eggs.

"Yummy!" Elissa said, accepting the plate from Dominic and taking a bite of the pancakes. "So what did happen?"

"Alistair" Dominic replied, between bites. "He's not crazy about us being together."

"Uggg. It is none of his business! Why can't he just butt out!" Elissa exclaimed, placing her plate down on her lap in frustration.

"He's just jealous. Not everyone is graced with the love of such a ravishing and strong woman." Dominic purred while leaning toward Elissa and placing a gentle yet passionate kiss on her soft lips. Picking up her plate, Dominic handed it back to Elissa. "Now eat up beautiful. You'll need your strength later this morning when I show you just how desirable you are."

Elissa bit her bottom lip, smiled and finished her breakfast, while anticipation welled up inside of her.

_################_

"I have a surprise for you baby." Dominic whispered into Elissa's ear one morning at breakfast.

"Mmmm, what?" Elissa said, turning her head to look into Dominic's handsome eyes.

"Meet me in the courtyard before lunch." Dominic said, before turning and heading for the training yard.

When lunchtime finally rolled around, Elissa walked as quickly as she could to the courtyard, a smile playing at the corner of her lips. Dominic was standing near the gate with a picnic basket.

"I thought we'd dine in the grass, milady." Dominic said, bowing to Elissa as she approached. Elissa laughed. "We need to stay near the keep in case darkspawn or bandits show up uninvited." Elissa said, smiling.

"Hmm. Another good reason to stay by the keep." Dominic said, looking thoughtful.

"If not for safety's sake, what was your reason to stay near the keep?" Elissa asked.

Dominic leaned into Elissa's ear and whispered "In case I needed to ravish you. It's always better in a bed, don't you think baby?" Elissa laughed and playfully pushed Dominic away.

The lovers headed over to a tree a hundred feet outside of the keep gate and set up their picnic. After finishing the delicious food that Dominic had personally prepared for them, they sat and laughed. Dominic was leaning against the tree while Elissa sat between his legs and rested her back on his chest. While talking, Dominic twirled Elissa's hair between his fingers, enjoying the softness of her hair.

The lovers were so enraptured in their conversation that neither notice that the once sunny sky had become filled with dark clouds. Suddenly, rain began pouring down, soaking the wardens and the blanket they were sitting on.

"Maker! It was sunny a moment ago!" Elissa said while standing and grabbing the picnic basket, preparing to return to the warmth of the keep.

"Where are you going? A little rain never hurt anyone!" Dominic said while standing up. Dominic then pulled Elissa into his arms and kissed her, the rain pouring down their bodies, soaking their clothing.

Releasing Elissa, Dominic said, "Come here!" before running over to a nearby mud puddle. Dominic grabbed a handful of mud and turned to face Elissa as she approached.

Guessing his intention, Elissa said "Don't you dare!" while smiling at Dominic. Dominic's eyes sparkled with mischief. Dominic then threw the glob of mud at Elissa, before running for safety.

Wiping the mud from her face, Elissa quickly grabbed a handful of mud and chased after Dominic, determined to get him back. Dominic turned to face Elissa with his hands up in the air in front of him, defending himself from her attack. Elissa feigned left, then attacked from the right, moving through Dominic's defenses and smearing the mud over Dominic's hair.

"Now you've done it milady. You have angered the notorious mud monster. Prepare to be devoured!" Dominic said, pulling Elissa to his chest and falling backwards into the mud, pulling her down with him. When their bodies splashed down into the mud, Dominic rolled over on top of Elissa, pushed the mud away from her face and kissed her passionately. Elissa returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around Dominic's back and arching her back in pleasure. Dominic ran his muddy hands down Elissa's body, letting them rest on her hips before pulling her hips even closer to his body. For several minutes, they lost themselves in each other, enjoying the closeness. Dominic then pulled away from the kiss and smiled at Elissa.

"You're so beautiful." Elissa smiled at the compliment. Then Dominic quickly splattered some mud onto Elissa's face before getting up and running away.

"You little bitch!" Elissa laughed while struggling to get up and catch up to Dominic.

_################_

Despite the fact that she had been feeling sick for the past few days, Elissa was smiling. It was raining again which reminded her of Dominic. _He's so cute, but I hate getting sick!_ Elissa thought.

She was walking down a hallway in the keep when she saw Alistair. Immediately she remembered what Dominic said about Alistair's recent behavior regarding her relationship with Dominic. _I need to end this now_, Elissa thought.

"Alistair! Get over here, we need to talk." Elissa said curtly.

"It's wonderful to see you too, Commander. Nice weather we're having." Alistair joked, trying to lighten the mood. Elissa did not look happy to see him. _As usual_, Alistair thought morosely.

"I thought I made myself clear the last time we spoke. My relationship with Dominic is none of your business. What did you say to him the other morning?"

"Elissa, I...I wasn't trying to pick a fight."

Elissa gave Alistair an incredulous look. "No, honestly!" Alistair said. "I was just headed to breakfast. And I happened to see him...well, it looked like he was poisoning your food! I was worried about you!"

Elissa laughed. "Have you lost your mind! This jealousy, or whatever it is is ridiculous! Just leave us alone, Alistair."

"I will always look out for your safety Elissa, always. That hasn't changed and never will." Alistair said, looking directly into Elissa's eyes.

"Like you looked out for my safety when you abandoned me to fight the archdemon without you?" Elissa spat.

Alistair frowned, sorrow and regret coloring his face. However, his eyes bore into Elissa's soul with the most sincere, determined expression Elissa had ever seen.

"I did. I abandoned you. Betrayed you when you needed me the most. And I will spend the rest of my life suffering for that mistake. But I've done a lot of growing up since then. I would never do such a thing to you again. All I want is for you to be safe and happy. Even if it crushes my soul to see you happy with another man, all I want is your happiness." Alistair then turned and walked away, leaving Elissa stunned by his sincerity and conviction.

_################_

A few days later, Elissa knocked on Dominic's door, a flirty smile on her face. Dominic had recently moved up in rank and thus was given his own room. Elissa was looking forward to surprising Dominic and spending some _quality_ time with him. Not receiving an answer, Elissa pushed the door open a little and peered into the room.

The bed had Dominic's armor and weapons sitting on it, while the nightstand held a lantern. Elissa's eyes swept over to the desk on the other side of the room, where Dominic was sitting, with his head down on the desk.

"Dominic?" Elissa said, slowly moving into the room, concern growing in her stomach. Elissa walked up to Dominic and tried to shake him awake. It was then, while looking over his shoulder that she saw that Dominic's eyes were open and lifeless.

"Dominic!" Elissa shrieked, shaking Dominic forcefully.

"Help me! Somebody! Anders! Maker help!" Elissa sobbed, pulling Dominic's body to her's and caressing his cheek with her hand.

Anders rushed into the room, followed by Nathaniel. Both of their eyes widened at the sight of Dominic slumped over his desk and Elissa holding him. Anders rushed forward to assist Elissa, while Nathaniel's attention was drawn to the brown, powdery substance strewn about the desktop.

"I'm sorry Commander. He's gone." Anders said softly.

"No! No he can't be dead! Check him again! Heal him Anders! He has to be okay!" Elissa screamed, becoming even more hysterical. "What happened?"

"Poison." Nathaniel said.

"What?" Elissa said, turning to Nathaniel, her tear-filled eyes wide with confusion and fear.

"The brown powder is poison. He probably breathed it in. Stay here while I get a neutralizer." Nathaniel hurried out of the room. Anders stepped away from the body and pulled Elissa into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder. When Nathaniel returned, he poured a yellow liquid over the desk, causing the brown powder to sizzle.

"It's safe now." Nathaniel said. _People don't just accidentally inhale that type of poison, _Nathaniel thought, _something else is going on here. _Not wanting to burden Elissa with his theories before he had proof, Nathaniel asked Anders to take Elissa to her office to sit down while he looked into what happened.

"Let me know if you find out who would want to hurt him." Elissa said softly, between tears. Elissa and Anders then left Dominic's room and headed to her office. _How could this happen? What has he doing handling poison? _Elissa sat at her desk and stared off into space, numb to the world while Anders ran off to get Elissa some warm tea. Some time later, Nathaniel knocked on the door and entered.

"Commander, I found this in a hidden compartment of Dominic's bed." Nathaniel said while he handed Elissa a letter. Elissa was horrified at the look on Nathaniel's face and dreaded what the letter would say. She quickly grabbed the letter and read it.

_Dominic,_

_You are now authorized to implement the final stage of your assignment. Now that you have obtained the Warden Commander's trust, you should use the enclosed poison to eliminate her. Take great caution in handling the poison, as breathing it in is fatal. In order to receive your compensation you must make the Warden Commander's death appear to be the result of an illness. Therefore you should slowly increase the dosages of poison over time. Succeed where your predecessor Zevran failed and you shall be handsomely rewarded. _

_May the shadows hide you,_

_The Crows_


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry this update took ridiculously long. That little "real life" thing got in the way. But I'm back and hopefully will get the remaining few chapters up pretty soon. Thanks to all the readers and reviewers!

Chapter 6

Elissa dropped the letter. She couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Her body began shaking uncontrollably and tears cascaded down her face.

"He...He..." Elissa stammered. Before she could even process the though of what Dominic had done, she grabbed the waste bin and vomited into it.

Nate walked over to Elissa, held her hair back and gently massaged her shoulders, trying to calm her.

Elissa was still bent over the bin, heaving deep breaths between heart-wrenching sobs when Anders returned with her tea. He placed it down and sat down in front of the desk.

"It's alright Elissa. Everything is going to be okay." Anders said, in the most soothing voice he could.

Nate picked up the letter and handed it to Anders, before returning his hands to Elissa's shoulders and whispering words of comfort in her ear.

Anders couldn't believe what he was reading._ Everyone liked Dominic. He was a fellow warden, for maker's sake! How could this be possible?_

Anders began casting healing over Elissa, first to calm her, and then to determine whether she had any poison in her system.

Regaining a little control over herself, Elissa put the bin down, but continued quietly crying, cradling her face in her hands.

Nate pulled Anders aside and whispered to him. "Stay with her. I'll notify Varel and then send for Elissa's best friend, Lelianna."

"Good. She does have poison in her system. Nothing that could kill or permanently injure her, but enough to give her the flu-like symptoms she's been complaining of recently. I'll heal her, calm her down and get her to her room so she can rest."

Nate nodded in agreement, and left the room. Anders walked over to Elissa and pulled her into a hug.

"Everything is going to be alright. You've got a little poison in your system. It's what's been causing you to feel sick lately. It shouldn't be difficult to heal. Alright?" Anders asked.

Elissa nodded, her head still buried in her hands, quietly sobbing.

Blue light emanated from Ander's hands as he began healing Elissa and purging her body of the poison.

Unable to physically or emotionally deal with what was happening to her, Elissa simply shut down her thoughts and focused on feeling her recent aches and pains drain from her body.

After Anders finished healing her, he did another scan to ensure there were no traces of poison left in Elissa's body.

"That's all of it. You'll be tired for a few days, but you'll recover just fine. Why don't you sip your tea and regain a little of your strength before I escort you to your room. All right?"

Elissa raised her head from her hands and nodded, tears still running down her face.

##########

Alistair had spent most of the evening training, venting his frustration over Dominic and Elissa's relationship by bashing a straw dummy with his sword and shield. Feeling slightly better, Alistair wiped the sweat off his brow and headed toward the barracks. Although he had recently been able to procure a bed in the barracks, instead of the hayloft, he was still ostracized by the others.

As Alistair entered the barracks, the other wardens were huddled together, animatedly discussing something. Knowing he would not be included in the conversation even if he tried, Alistair continued over to his bunk and began shedding his armor.

Meanwhile, the conversation became progressively louder. Piling his armor by his bed, Alistair ran his hands through his hair and relaxed. With nothing better to do, Alistair laid back on the bed, closed his eyes and tried to listen into the conversation happening on the other side of the room.

"So, wait. How did you find out about it?" One of the wardens asked Daniel, the warden standing in the middle of the group.

"I heard Nate tell Varel about it."

"When was this?" Another man asked.

"Right after it happened! Can you believe it? That anyone, let alone Dominic, would poison the commander!" Daniel exclaimed, raising his voice in excitement.

Alistair bolted out of bed, his adrenaline pumping and his eyes wide.

"WHAT?" Alistair shouted, startling the group of wardens, who were unaware that Alistair had been listening.

Alistair ran over to Daniel and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"WHERE IS SHE?" Alistair yelled, becoming hysterical.

"Uhh...she...she's in her office." Daniel replied, frightened by the murderous look in Alistair's eye.

Alistair pushed the other wardens out of his way and bolted for the stairs as fast as he could move.

_Andraste's mercy, let her be alright. Please. Maker's mercy, please! _Alistair begged.

Skidding around a corner, Alistair was oblivious to the fact that he knocked over a table, scattering the contents around the hall. With her study door in sight, Alistair ran faster than he had ever run in his life, bursting through the door and franticly looking for Elissa.

Elissa was sitting behind her desk, eyes red and puffy, with Anders sitting in front of her desk. They turned toward the door when Alistair rushed in.

Upon seeing Elissa alive and breathing, Alistair felt a wave of relief wash over him. Without letting his eyes leave Elissa, Alistair walked over to her, oblivious to the other man in the room. Kneeling down in front of Elissa, Alistair cradled Elissa's cheeks in his hands.

"You're alive!" Alistair whispered, as tears ran down his face.

Elissa had never seen Alistair this upset. Even after Duncan had died, Alistair always handled grief silently, in private. Around others he was simply quiet. But the Alistair before her was shaking, openly crying and clinging to her like he was afraid that if he let go she would disappear. The fear, relief and overwhelming love that shined in his tear-filled eyes made Elissa's heart race.

_He still cares about me that much? _She asked herself.

Alistair continued stroking her face, trying to verify that she really was alive and well.

Shaking his eyes away from the loving scene in front of him, Anders said that he would be outside.

Alistair pulled Elissa from her chair and into his arms. With one arm wrapped around Elissa's back and the other gently cradling the back of her head, Alistair lost what little control he had and began openly weeping.

Stunned from the intensity of Alistair's emotions, Elissa simply held him, allowing herself a moment of weakness, as her tears began falling again.

Alistair continued holding Elissa close, trying to calm his raging emotions by reminding himself that she was in his arms, breathing and safe. The pair stayed like that, kneeled on the ground together, crying in each other's arms for another 15 minutes before Anders knocked and re-entered the room.

"Ummm... Alistair?" Anders called out. "Elissa needs to rest."

Alistair turned toward Anders and wiped the tears from his face. "I'll take care of her."

Anders nodded and left, while Alistair stood and scooped Elissa into his arms, carrying her to her room. Too numb to care that she was being carried like a child, Elissa buried her head in Alistair's neck, allowing his scent to calm her.

Outside of her office, Alistair stopped near Anders and whispered to him, hoping Elissa wouldn't hear his question. "Where is that bastard?"

"Dead. In his room." Anders whispered back, hoping not to further upset Elissa.

Alistair nodded at Anders before taking Elissa to her room.

Once inside Elissa's bedroom, Alistair gently laid her on her bed, pulled off her shoes and wrapped her in her blanket. Immediately, Elissa curled into the fetal position and wept quietly.

Alistair pulled off his shoes while attempting to quiet the murderous rage inside him.

_Calm down. Bastard's dead. He can't hurt her anymore. _Alistair thought.

_Deep breaths. She needs you to be strong._

Alistair climbed into the bed with Elissa, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Shhhh. It's okay. Everything is going to be alright. I'll take care of you." Alistair whispered.

Elissa continued sobbing until she finally fell asleep in Alistair's arms. Alistair waited for her breathing to become slow and even before gently disentangling himself from her, wiping the remaining tears from his face, and quietly closing her door behind him.

Alistair found Anders in Elissa's office and asked him what happened. Anders pointed to the letter sitting on Elissa's desk. Alistair picked it up and read it, his vision going red.

"That fucker!" Alistair yelled, dropping the letter. Alistair ran his hands through his hair, almost pulling it out in rage. He then turned and rushed through the door with his fists balled and his teeth clenched. He had to ensure that Dominic was dead with his own eyes.

Alistair stormed through the keep and burst into Dominic's room, finding the body near the desk. Upon seeing the man who seduced, then tried to kill Elissa, the love of Alistair's life, Alistair lost any remaining self-restraint. He lurched across the room and began punching Dominic with all of his strength.

When Nate walked into the room to take the body outside, he found Alistair covered in blood, crying, and beating the body to a pulp. By this point Dominic's face was unrecognizable.

"Alistair! Stop!" Nate yelled, pulling Alistair off of the body and pushing him away from it. Alistair stumbled over to Dominic's bed, buried his face in his bloody hands, and wept.

Oghren entered the room behind Nate and helped Nate carry Dominic's body to the courtyard outside, leaving Alistair alone.

When Oghren returned, Alistair had not moved from the bed. His face was covered in blood, streaked with tears and he was staring at the wall, lost in his own thoughts. When Alistair noticed Oghren enter, he stared at him with haunted eyes.

"I knew." Alistair whispered. "I knew and I did nothing."

"Come on, pike twirler. You couldn't have known. None of us could have guessed this would happen." Oghren reassured Alistair while pulling out the desk chair and sitting down across from him.

"No, Oghren. I saw him poisoning her. And I let him do it!" Alistair cried, his voice rising in anguish.

Alistair ran his hand through his hair, oblivious to the fact that his hand was covered in Dominic's blood. Looking directly into Oghren's eyes, Alistair said "I saw him making her food. And...and.." Alistair suppressed a sob and continued, "and he took out a vial and put a brown powder on her food."

"And you didn't stop him?" Oghren yelled.

"He said it was cinnamon!" Alistair sobbed. "And I believed him!"

"I believed him and she could have died because of it!" Alistair cried.

Not knowing how to deal with the uncomfortable displays of emotion, Oghren pulled out his flask and took a swig, before offering it to Alistair. Alistair accepted and gulped down a shot. The liquor burned its way down his throat and settled his nerves a little. Alistair handed the flask back and stood up.

"I guess I'll go get cleaned up." He said, before leaving the room.

##########

Over the next few days Alistair remained at Elissa's side, only leaving her when he went to the kitchen to personally make her food. Alistair did not trust anyone else to do it. Exhausted from the traumatic events and drained by the poison's effect on her body, Elissa spent most of the time sleeping. When awake, Elissa remained in a catatonic-like state, not speaking or moving much. Alistair spent his time trying to get her to eat and holding her when she cried. Wanting to fill the silence and keep Elissa from brooding over the horrible events, Alistair told her stories from his childhood. Once or twice, he even got her to crack a small smile.

Elissa was sleeping again when there was a knock at the door. Alistair walked over and opened the door, stepping outside so that the visitor would not wake Elissa.

"Lil!" Alistair exclaimed, while keeping his voice down.

"Al!" Lelianna pulled Alistair into a tight hug. Alistair let go of Lelianna and turned toward the guard that he had stationed outside of Elissa's room.

"Sara, guard the door and don't let anyone in. Inform me immediately if she wakes."

"I will." Sara replied, taking her position in front of Elissa's door.

Alistair then lead Lelianna to Elissa's nearby office. Closing the door behind them, Alistair went to Elissa's desk and rooted through the rather large stack of papers piled on it. Finding what he was looking for, he joined Lelianna near the fireplace.

"What happened, Al? The letter just said that Elissa, while alive and well, needed me and it was an emergency." Lelianna asked, fear plain on her face.

"She is okay. She's asleep right now." Alistair reassured Lelianna. "A few months ago, right after I came back, she recruited a man named Dominic. They fell in lo... they were in a relationship." Alistair took a deep breath, calming his nerves. "He was found dead, from inhaling poison, and this was found in his room." Alistair handed Lelianna the letter.

Lelianna read the letter, gasping in horror. "Maker's breath! Poor El!"

"Since then Nate has been investigating it, and, from the look of the stack of papers on Elissa's desk, has gotten quite a bit of information thus far. I've been taking care of Elissa, but she needs you. She won't open up to me about what happened." Alistair said.

"And how are you holding up?" Lelianna asked, noticing the bags under Alistair's eyes from worry and lack of sleep.

"I..." Alistair stuttered. "I failed her a second time. I saw him poisoning her food, but I believed his lies that it was cinnamon." A tear escaped Alistair's eye. "I abandoned her at the landsmeet, and when she needed me again, I did nothing! I could have prevented her from being hurt! But I failed her again!" Alistair sobbed.

"Shhh. It's alright" Lelianna said, pulling Alistair into a hug. "This is not your fault, Alistair. Tell me everything that has happened. Why did you come back?"

Alistair took a deep breath and composed himself, before telling Lelianna everything that had happened since the Landsmeet.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Blinking her eyes open, Elissa saw the afternoon sun dancing through the curtains. She stretched her arms over her head and sighed. Having spent almost a full week resting in bed had allowed her body to fully recuperate from the poison. Her emotions, on the other hand, still felt as volatile and confused as ever. She tried not to think about anything, but doubts and fears always seemed able to creep into her mind.

A soft knock at the door drew her out of her thoughts and she actually felt an emotion other than numbness at the thought of seeing Alistair again. Over the past week when nothing felt stable or predicable, Alistair was. He was constantly at her side. While comforting, she found her new attitude toward Alistair confusing.

"El?" Lelianna asked as she stepped into the room.

"LIL!" Elissa yelled, immediately sitting up and genuinely smiling for the first time that week.

"Stay there cutie. How are you? I have missed you so!" Lelianna said, while closing the door behind her and walking over to sit on the bed.

Elissa gave Lelianna a sad smile. "I'm alive."

"El, I came as soon as I heard." Lelianna said while pulling Elissa into her arms.

"Great" Elissa said, burying her head in Lelianna's shoulder. "So the whole world knows what a gullible fool I am."

Lelianna lifted Elissa's chin up and looked into her eyes. "You are not a fool! The crows are assassins. Trained from birth to lie and deceive. You were not the only one fooled by him. All the Grey Wardens, all of the men at Redcliff, even Nate- who is suspicious of everyone and everything- did not see him for who he really was."

Elissa chuckled. "I fell in love with a man who abandoned me when I needed him the most. When I finally opened up my heart again, it was for a man who was trying to poison me..." Elissa whispered. "And this past week Alistair has been caring for me and my stupid, naïve heart wants to trust him again! How could I ever trust him, or anyone, again!" Tears began falling down Elissa's cheeks as she looked to her friend, desperately wanting Lelianna to solve her problems.

Lelianna smiled, knowing Elissa wanted her to fix everything and knowing that only Elissa had the power to do so. "I don't have all the answers, cutie. But I do know one thing. There is a man out there who desperately cares about you. Who has not had more than a few hours sleep over the past week because he has been guarding over you. A man who would give everything he has to ensure you are safe and happy... A man who is not the same person as the little boy who abandoned us at the Landsmeet."

Elissa looked away, unable to face what Lelianna was telling her. Lelianna leaned in and gave Elissa a hug before saying "I'll go get you something to eat. Get dressed."

As Lelianna got to the door, Elissa said "I wish I could believe that he isn't the same person anymore."

Lelianna looked back at Elissa and sighed. "You do, cutie. But you don't want to let yourself."

###############

Lelianna closed the door and was immediately faced with a worried Alistair. "Is she ok? Does she need some food? Water? She needs more sunshine in there, doesn't she? I need to open the blinds for her..." Alistair said quickly.

"Calm down, Al!" Lelianna said, smiling at Alistair's devotion to Elissa's wellbeing. "She's a big girl and she will be fine. I was just going to get her something to eat. Then it is time for her to get out of that room and back to real life."

"Is she ready for that? I'm not sure she has all of her strength back yet. We don't want to push her too hard! She needs to rest Lil!" Alistair's concern grew. "No, I don't think...No. Getting out of bed is a bad idea. I'll go get Anders. He'll know what to do..." Alistair's words got faster and faster as he became more and more concerned over the prospect of Elissa leaving the safety of her room. Before Alistair could turn to run and get Anders, Lelianna grabbed him by both shoulders.

"Al! Listen!" Lelianna gave him a serious look. "She defeated the Archdeamon. She grew the Grey Wardens into the force they are today. She is a strong woman and she is ready to face the world again."

Alistair seemed to finally calm down at these words.

"With our help, of course." Lelianna added, smiling.

Alistair smiled. "You're right. I'll go get her some food and bring it back here."

"Bring it to the garden, Al. She and I will meet you there." Lelianna said. Alistair took a deep, slow breath, attempting to calm his nerves and alleviate the fear that Elissa wasn't ready for this. He then walked toward the kitchen to personally prepare Elissa's food.

###############

Tray in hand, Alistair walked out to the gardens. Glancing around, he saw Elissa and Lelianna sitting in the grass, surrounded by rose bushes and a sparkling fountain. His breath caught as he watched Elissa's beautiful hair shine in the sunlight and swirl around her, dancing in the wind. As he approached, he thought he heard Lelianna whisper "think about it", before both women turned to face him. Lelianna gave him a look which he knew meant she had been up to something, but the look of apprehension in Elissa's eyes was all Alistair could focus on.

Alistair knelt down, not taking his eyes off of Elissa's and placed the tray of food in front of her. "I made this myself. Nate has been coordinating the investigation, while Varel and Oghren have taken charge of increasing security in and around the keep. Anders even developed a spell which allows him to monitor a 30 foot by 30 foot area and know every person who enters that area. He says it is incredibly tiring and difficult to keep up for long periods of time..." Alistair made a face like he strongly suspected Anders was exaggerating how difficult the spell was "...but he's casting it now to ensure we are safe," Alistair finished, glancing over to Anders who was in the corner of the garden under the overhang, hands glowing blue and face contorted with concentration. When Elissa looked where Alistair was looking, Anders stopped making the face and winked at Elissa._ I knew he was only trying to get sympathy from the female recruits! _Alistair thought, with amused frustration.

Alistair turned back to Elissa. "You are completely safe." Elissa looked into Alistair's eyes and saw his sincerity. Clamping down on the emotions rising within her, she looked away and picked up the food. While Lelianna and Alistair talked, Elissa stared into space and chewed the food, not really tasting any of it. Her eyes wandered to Alistair and, of their own volition, studied him.

He was just as muscled as before, his hair the same color of gold. His eyes were the same chocolate. But the more she studied him, the more differences she began to notice. His jaw was stronger, even more defined than before. The stubble of his facial hair was fuller than the smattering of facial hair he had when they met all those years ago. He seemed a little taller.

His posture was...different. He had a confidence about him that was new. The kind of confidence that only comes from life experience. As devastated and weak as she was the past week, she was aware of how Alistair had taken charge during the chaos. She noticed that he was the one who guarded her, brought her food and water, cared for her. She felt him brush her hair out of her face when he thought she had fallen asleep. She heard him become a leader. Heard him tell Oghren to increase security around the keep. Heard him ensuring that Nate had everything he needed to conduct the investigation.

While this man looked similar, Lelianna was right, this was not the same person who was at the Landsmeet.

Alistair's heartbeat was going nuts, knowing that Elissa had spent the last few minutes looking at him. Alistair tried to keep his breathing even and tried to concentrate on his conversation with Lelianna. But it was a battle he was losing. Warmth started to creep into his cheeks. When he could not resist anymore, he turned to Elissa and smiled. He was surprised to see Elissa seem to shake herself awake, as if she had not realized that she was staring at him, before she looked away and blushed.

Lelianna, having seen the interaction which just took place, stood up and announced that she was going to take a bath after her long trip to the Keep. Alistair and Elissa watched Lelianna walk away. After she disappeared through a door, Alistair and Elissa looked at each other. Elissa broke eye contact first, and looked down at her hand which was playing with the grass. After a few moments of silence, Alistair placed his hand on Elissa's. Her heart skipping into overdrive, panic and excitement coursing through her veins, Elissa's eyes snapped to Alistair's. She watched as he took a long, steadying breath before saying "Elissa. You are absolutely safe here...Trust me."

Standing, Alistair reached out for Elissa's hand to help her up. Fear and hope swirled around her head, rendering her dizzy. All of her past mistakes, misjudgments and errors bombarded her, threatening to drown Elissa in indecision. Summoning all of her inner fortitude, everything which allowed her to survive her parents' deaths, the blight, and Alistair's betrayal, Elissa forcefully shoved it all aside. She was strong enough to survive this.

Taking Alistair's hand, she stood. Unable to get the words past the lump in her throat, Elissa nodded at Alistair before releasing his hand and heading to her office. Had she still been looking at Alistair's face, she would have seen the shock which flooded his face, only to be replaced with hopeful joy. _She's willing to trust me?! How in the world did I accomplish that?! _Alistair thought, before jogging to catch up to Elissa.

Silence fell over the garden Elissa and Alistair had just exited, before a voice interrupted it. "So you don't need my help anymore, then? Thanks for letting me know. It's not like it's easy to maintain this spell guys! Glad I could help. Don't thank me or anything!" Anders said to no one, his voice filled with sarcastic indigence.

A/N Sorry for my LONG absence. Life took over. But a boring Saturday afternoon brought me back. Hope that Elissa's change of heart wasn't too abrupt- that was what gave me writer's block in the first place. Comments, as always, are welcome. Thanks for reading!


End file.
